SerenDestiny #61: What is the “SerenDestiny Story?”

In the movie The Graduate, Dustin Hoffman’s character has just graduated from college.

His parents throw him a welcome-home party to celebrate.

One of his dad’s friends throws his arm around Dustin’s shoulders and asks, “So, what are you going to do now?”

Dustin tells him, “I was going to go upstairs.”

The man looks at him askance and says, “No, I mean … with your life.”

What are you doing with your life?

Do you have a meaningful purpose that gives you a reason to wake up every morning?

If so; you’re living in the sublime, deeply satisfying state of SerenDestiny®.

If not; please know that NOT knowing what you want to do with your life is … natural.

Sure, some lucky people, (like my son Tom who knew at age 8 he wanted to do something “up there” and now works with the International Space Station), have clarity about their purpose from an early age.

For most of us though, we figure it out along the way.

We figure it out by experimenting and learning what resonates and what doesn’t. Our life-work emerges from the process – it doesn’t precede the process.

The good news is, you can facilitate finding your life-work by studying the case studies of SerenDestineers who share their epiphanies of how and why they’ve come to love their life.  

I’ve been sharing their insights in this blog for the past year, and will be distilling their lessons-learned (and my own) in my upcoming book SerenDestiny: Is the Light On In Your Eyes?

I’d love to include your story of how you’ve created a life you love. How would you answer the following questions?

1. How did you discover your life’s purpose?

2. What obstacles did you encounter? How did you overcome them?

3. What advice do you have for how people can lead a life where the light’s on in their eyes?

Still searching for your SerenDestiny®? What questions and challenges would you like addressed in the book?

I really believe in “crowd-sourcing.”  This will be a better book if it features a variety of real-life examples from people around the world so everyone can relate to it.  

I know you’re busy … so thank you in advance for taking the time to submit your questions and suggestions to Sam@IntrigueAgency.com.  I look forward to hearing from you.

And in case you’re curious about how SerenDestiny® got started…. here’s the back-story.

What’s the SerenDestiny Story?

My sons Tom and Andrew were home for the holidays from Virginia Tech.

We were getting caught up over dinner and Andrew said, “Hey, Mom, I ran into Ryan last night. It was really interesting. I hadn’t seen him since high school and I’d been wondering what he was up to. Then, there he was … out of the blue.”

I laughed and said, “Oh Andrew. That wasn’t out of the blue. That’s called Serendipity. Some people call those happy accidents … but I don’t think they’re accidents.”

“What you do you mean?”

“Think about it. What are the odds of that happening?

You’re thinking about Ryan and all of a sudden he shows up?? Really?!

That’s not a coincidence, that’s a gift.

Your paths crossed for a reason. You’re supposed to figure out why and act on it. Maybe you’re meant to collaborate with Ryan on something.”

Andrew was intrigued. Later that night, he came up to me with a thoughtful expression on his face and said, “Mom, I really like that concept of . . . SerenDestiny®.”

Aahhh.  Out of the mouths of 20-somethings.  Little did I know that casual conversation would launch an incredibly rewarding, new direction in my career and business.

The idea of SerenDestiny® intrigued me too.

I realized, looking back, my whole life has been a series of SerenDestiny® Stepping Stones.

From an early age, something “out of the blue” would happen and I would somehow, instinctively, understand it was my job to capitalize on it.

That would lead to something wonderful which would in turn lead to something even more wonderful. People often tell me how lucky I am to do the work I was born to do and I agree.

But I think it’s more than luck.

In retrospect, I now see there were a variety of contributing factors that played a role in me leading a life I love.

Whenever it was time to make a pivotal life decision – what I now call Crucial Crossroads – I honored my Three I’s – Instincts, Integrity and Interests.

Every time I did, it paid off. Every time I didn’t, I paid the price.

The more I explored this concept, the more I started defining SerenDestiny® as “leading a life where the light’s on in our eyes.”

I started asking everyone I met, “How would you define SerenDestiny®?  Are you leading the life you’re meant to live?  If so, why?  If not, why not?”

I’ve learned a lot, including:

1. We move closer to the sublime state of SerenDestiny® every time we act in alignment with our Thre I’s – our Interests, Instincts and Integrity – and our Three V’s – Values, Voice and Vision at Crucial Crossroads.

2. SerenDestiny® doesn’t just happen. We don’t FIND our calling – we CREATE it. It is a byproduct of “doing our half,” honoring our hunches, proving our passion and connecting with kindred souls who facilitate and fast-forward our best future. When we do our half – the universe steps up and say, “all right-then,” and does its half.

3. It is never too late or too early to set our SerenDestiny® in motion. And we don’t need to win the lottery, fly to Bali or quit our job to lead a life where the light’s on in our eyes.

4. It is not selfish to seek our SerenDestiny®. Just the opposite. Identifying our gifts and giving them back to the world results in a “rising tide raising all boats” life that benefits all involved.

SerenDestiny #43: Hunches are Your Calling . . . Calling

“Trust your hunches. They’re usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.” – Dr. Joyce Brothers

Have you ever had an inkling to walk down this street, register for that event, reach out to this person; and it resulted in connecting you with someone or something that moved your life forward – for good?

Think about it. What are hunches? Where do they come from?

Some people call hunches “intuition.” Others call them a “gut instinct or gut feelings.” Creative people may call them their “muse.” Religious people sometimes call them divine intervention or “God Winks.” Some call them “premonition” or a “sixth sense.”

I’ve learned many things about hunches while interviewing people for my upcoming SerenDestiny book including:

a. Whatever you call hunches, they’re almost always right.
b. Hunches happen for a reason. A good reason.
c. Acting on hunches often results in a “stroke of luck,” good fortune, a blessing, a fortuitous twist of fate, what some people call “kismet.”

People from around the world have told me dramatic stories of how honoring a hunch set their SerenDestiny in motion.

The problem is, many of us don’t value hunches. We get an internal nudge to do this, go there, but we dismiss it with “I don’t feel like it. I don’t have time. That’s crazy. I’ll do it later.” And later is too late.

I remember a fascinating TV interview of Gavin de Becker, author of The Gift of Fear and a high-profile security consultant.

He said, “I ask people who have been assaulted if there were any warning signs beforehand. Many tell me they couldn’t put their finger on it, but they knew something was . . . wrong. The hairs on the backs of their arms stood up; their heart started pounding; something.

‘When I ask them, ‘Why didn’t you run or call for help?’ they often say they looked around and couldn’t see anything suspicious. Since they couldn’t see any evidence to justify their alarm, they dismissed it. They shrugged off their fears instead of realizing their body went on alert for a reason and they should take steps to protect themselves.”

What’s the point?

Our body gives us signs when it senses dissonance. Our instincts sense when something’s about to go wrong.

I’ve come to believe our body also give us signs when it senses resonance Our instincts sense when something’s about to go right.

I call those warning signs “hostile hunches.”

I call those resonant signs “harmonic hunches.”

Just as our instincts alert us to a coalescing of hostile circumstances, they also alert us to a coalescing of harmonic circumstances.

Survival hunches alerting us to dangerous circumstances prepare us for fight or flight.

Serendestiny hunches alerting us to desirable circumstances prepare us for a favorable future.

Acting on “hostile” hunches can keep us safe.

Acting on “harmonic” hunches can jump-start our fate.

One of the goals of this SerenDestiny blog and my upcoming book are to convince you of the miracles that await you if you honor your hostile and harmonic hunches.

Hostile hunches can alert you to toxic people and situations that will pull you off path.

Harmonic hunches alert you to compatible individuals and situations that can become stepping stones to a life where the light’s on in your eyes.

What’s non-negotiable is that you don’t dismiss hunches as “silly” or “trivial.”

I’ll say it again. Whatever hunches are; they’re rarely wrong.

If your gut is screaming at you to get away from a certain person or situation – even if there’s no “evidence” for your distrust or distaste – accept that it’s in your best interests to head the other direction. Toxic individuals and situations block your SerenDestiny because conflict consumes energy.

If a certain person or situation strikes a chord with you, if they’ve got a good “vibe,” seek them out. Even if you can’t put your finger on it, but an opportunity “feels right,” pursue that compatible connection in the moment.

One of the most important things I’ve learned in my years of researching SerenDestiny is the importance of capitalizing on a confluence of fortuitous factors. This “conFLOWence” is dynamic, it’s fleeting. For whatever reason, a providential combination of events has crystallized and come together NOW.

If you don’t capitalize on it immediately, that particular set of circumstances shifts and that window of opportunity . . . closes, perhaps forever.

Who knows if those agianst-all-odds fortuitous factors will re-align again?

I’m not trying to be melodramatic. It’s just that, as Graham Greene said, “There is a moment in every child’s life when the door opens and lets the future in.”

There are moments in everyone’s life when a door opens and lets their future in.

It’s up to us to be alert to those moments and take advantage of them. By definition, they only exist for a brief time.

From now on, understand that hunches are SerenDestiny Stepping Stones appearing before you are gifts from the universe. They are pointing out a harmonic path that will align you with like-minded individuals and opportunities. All you have to do is step forward in faith.

This isn’t woo-woo. Thousands of individuals have vouched for the “you wouldn’t believe it if it weren’t true” benefits they’ve reaped as a result of honoring their intuitive nudges.

Next time you get a hunch, even if you’re tired or busy; even if you don’t know where it’s going; follow its lead. Something or someone delightful awaits you.

SerenDestiny #2: Are You Setting SerenDestiny in Motion?

Several years ago, I was discussing the concept of serendipity — the so-called happy accidents when we meet the right person at the right time and right place — with my sons. I could tell Tom and Andrew were really … Continue reading →