SerenDestiny #65: What You Do When You Procrastinate COULD be the Seed of Your SerenDestiny

“My parents always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything because I procrastinated so much. I told ’em, ‘Just you wait.” – comedian Judy Tenuta

Are you waiting for your destiny to show up?

Are you the kid who was always crystal clear about what you wanted to be when you grew up … or are you still searching for your ideal job – your life-work?

For most of us, clarity about our purpose doesn’t show up all at once. It crystallizes, over time, from a series of experiences that resonate, that feel right.

We notice that when we do this type of work or collaborate with these type of individuals, we feel meaningfully productive. It just fits. It’s a match for who we are and what matters most.

We can sometimes discover our life-work by taking a second look at what we do, naturally, in our free time … when we’re not working.

That is certainly the case with one of my colleagues.

Dana always used to “noodle and doodle.”

In class, instead of listening to her teacher, she would let her imagination run free. Instead of doing her assignments, she’d be filling the margins with what she was seeing in her mind’s eye.

Guess how Dana earns her living – a good living – in every sense of the word?

She’s a graphic facilitator. She is the person you see at conferences and strategic retreats, facilitating the discussion while simultaneously drawing a colorful mural that maps what’s happening in the room with images and highlighted words. http://take-action.com/

Dana loves her work – and it loves her. She has turned her joy into her job.

By the way, that is one of the definitions of SerenDestiny.

Make your joy your job.

So, what do you do when you’re supposed to be doing something else?

What are you drawn to do when you’re supposed to be doing your “real” job?

What do you do in your free time that resonates, feels right, fills you with joy?

Get creative about how you could get paid to teach that or do that for others.

If you do, you’ll never have to “work” another day in your life … because you’ll be in that sublime state of SerenDestiny where you’re earning a good living doing what you love most and do best.

SerenDestiny #61: What is the “SerenDestiny Story?”

In the movie The Graduate, Dustin Hoffman’s character has just graduated from college.

His parents throw him a welcome-home party to celebrate.

One of his dad’s friends throws his arm around Dustin’s shoulders and asks, “So, what are you going to do now?”

Dustin tells him, “I was going to go upstairs.”

The man looks at him askance and says, “No, I mean … with your life.”

What are you doing with your life?

Do you have a meaningful purpose that gives you a reason to wake up every morning?

If so; you’re living in the sublime, deeply satisfying state of SerenDestiny®.

If not; please know that NOT knowing what you want to do with your life is … natural.

Sure, some lucky people, (like my son Tom who knew at age 8 he wanted to do something “up there” and now works with the International Space Station), have clarity about their purpose from an early age.

For most of us though, we figure it out along the way.

We figure it out by experimenting and learning what resonates and what doesn’t. Our life-work emerges from the process – it doesn’t precede the process.

The good news is, you can facilitate finding your life-work by studying the case studies of SerenDestineers who share their epiphanies of how and why they’ve come to love their life.  

I’ve been sharing their insights in this blog for the past year, and will be distilling their lessons-learned (and my own) in my upcoming book SerenDestiny: Is the Light On In Your Eyes?

I’d love to include your story of how you’ve created a life you love. How would you answer the following questions?

1. How did you discover your life’s purpose?

2. What obstacles did you encounter? How did you overcome them?

3. What advice do you have for how people can lead a life where the light’s on in their eyes?

Still searching for your SerenDestiny®? What questions and challenges would you like addressed in the book?

I really believe in “crowd-sourcing.”  This will be a better book if it features a variety of real-life examples from people around the world so everyone can relate to it.  

I know you’re busy … so thank you in advance for taking the time to submit your questions and suggestions to Sam@IntrigueAgency.com.  I look forward to hearing from you.

And in case you’re curious about how SerenDestiny® got started…. here’s the back-story.

What’s the SerenDestiny Story?

My sons Tom and Andrew were home for the holidays from Virginia Tech.

We were getting caught up over dinner and Andrew said, “Hey, Mom, I ran into Ryan last night. It was really interesting. I hadn’t seen him since high school and I’d been wondering what he was up to. Then, there he was … out of the blue.”

I laughed and said, “Oh Andrew. That wasn’t out of the blue. That’s called Serendipity. Some people call those happy accidents … but I don’t think they’re accidents.”

“What you do you mean?”

“Think about it. What are the odds of that happening?

You’re thinking about Ryan and all of a sudden he shows up?? Really?!

That’s not a coincidence, that’s a gift.

Your paths crossed for a reason. You’re supposed to figure out why and act on it. Maybe you’re meant to collaborate with Ryan on something.”

Andrew was intrigued. Later that night, he came up to me with a thoughtful expression on his face and said, “Mom, I really like that concept of . . . SerenDestiny®.”

Aahhh.  Out of the mouths of 20-somethings.  Little did I know that casual conversation would launch an incredibly rewarding, new direction in my career and business.

The idea of SerenDestiny® intrigued me too.

I realized, looking back, my whole life has been a series of SerenDestiny® Stepping Stones.

From an early age, something “out of the blue” would happen and I would somehow, instinctively, understand it was my job to capitalize on it.

That would lead to something wonderful which would in turn lead to something even more wonderful. People often tell me how lucky I am to do the work I was born to do and I agree.

But I think it’s more than luck.

In retrospect, I now see there were a variety of contributing factors that played a role in me leading a life I love.

Whenever it was time to make a pivotal life decision – what I now call Crucial Crossroads – I honored my Three I’s – Instincts, Integrity and Interests.

Every time I did, it paid off. Every time I didn’t, I paid the price.

The more I explored this concept, the more I started defining SerenDestiny® as “leading a life where the light’s on in our eyes.”

I started asking everyone I met, “How would you define SerenDestiny®?  Are you leading the life you’re meant to live?  If so, why?  If not, why not?”

I’ve learned a lot, including:

1. We move closer to the sublime state of SerenDestiny® every time we act in alignment with our Thre I’s – our Interests, Instincts and Integrity – and our Three V’s – Values, Voice and Vision at Crucial Crossroads.

2. SerenDestiny® doesn’t just happen. We don’t FIND our calling – we CREATE it. It is a byproduct of “doing our half,” honoring our hunches, proving our passion and connecting with kindred souls who facilitate and fast-forward our best future. When we do our half – the universe steps up and say, “all right-then,” and does its half.

3. It is never too late or too early to set our SerenDestiny® in motion. And we don’t need to win the lottery, fly to Bali or quit our job to lead a life where the light’s on in our eyes.

4. It is not selfish to seek our SerenDestiny®. Just the opposite. Identifying our gifts and giving them back to the world results in a “rising tide raising all boats” life that benefits all involved.

SerenDestiny® #53: What If I Don’t Know What My Calling – My Purpose – Is?

“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up … because they’re looking for ideas.” – comedian Paula Poundstone

Are you one of the lucky ones who knew, at an early age, exactly what you wanted to do when you grew up? Or, are you still trying to figure it out?

If you’re confused about what you want to do with you “one, wild and precious life” (thanks Mary Oliver); my upcoming SerenDestiny® book offers “10 Questions to Kick-Start Your Calling.”

Asking yourself these questions can move you closer to finding the sublime clarity that results from knowing what you’re put here to do.

When this “Oohh, that’s why I’m here” piece falls into place in the puzzle of your life, a light-bulb in your head and heart goes on and you feel a catalyzing sense of direction and purpose.

Here are a couple sample questions from Chapter 2 from my upcoming SerenDestiny® book.

Take a few minutes to mull them over. Better yet, discuss these questions with a friend over lunch. Who knows, they may crystallize your calling and catalyze a mission that gives your life meaning.

2 SerenDestiny® Questions to Kick-Start Your Calling

Ask yourself,

Kick-Start my Calling #1. When am I “in the groove?” What comes easily and naturally to me?

What do you do well, almost without thinking about it?

That’s your groove – and your groove is your gift.

Your happiness in life is in direct proportion to the degree with which you wrap your life around your gifts. Because they were given to you – so you could gift them back to the world.

Yet many people take their groove for granted.

Musician Jay-Z says, “Don’t get in the way of the groove.” Yet many people do just that.

They assume that anything that comes easily to them must come easily to others.

As a result, they devalue their groove and dismiss it as a career option. They conclude, “I couldn’t make a living from that. It’s too much fun.”

The opposite is true. Almost by definition, what comes easily to you does NOT come easily to others. Your calling could be to TEACH that to others or to DO that for others.

Furthermore, having fun is not a reason to dismiss something as a career option … it is a reason to look more closely at how you can turn that into a profession where you get paid to do what you love most and do best.

Kick-Start My Calling #2. What do I care about and enjoy doing – even if it’s not noble?

Dan Pink, author of Drive, says, “If you ask people, ‘What is your passion?’ they often freeze. They feel as if they have to give an amazing answer, like ‘feed the orphans of the world’ or ‘write a novel that changes the landscape of literature.’”

Agreed. Many people apologize for their passion. Like Dan says, they think it has to be legitimate and “respectable” in the eyes of others.

They worry, “What will people think if they found out my passion is fixing cars or fixing hair?”

Passions are personal. They are what you feel called to do – even if they don’t make sense to the people around you.

So, how did you answer those questions?

I’d love to hear what insights they triggered for you.

Would you like more of these “How can I kick-start my calling?” questions?

Subscribe to this blog (and share it with colleagues.) I’ll be featuring other thought-provoking questions that might help the light-bulb go off in your head and heart, including:

* “What used to fill you with joy, but you abandoned it because you got busy; moved on to other interests; or someone told you, “You’ll never be able to earn a living doing that?”

* What is a problem you see in your neighborhood, community or industry – something that’s not the way it could or should be – and you think, ‘Somebody should do something about that?”