Category Archives: live your best life

SerenDestiny #63: Got Confidence? How to Get It, Keep It, Give It

“Life is a series of reboots.” – Katie Couric

I’m looking forward to speaking at the California Womens Conference next week.

This event, held at the Long Beach Convention Center, has a 20 year track record of attracting up to 15,000 women in one day.

Two of my favorite moments include sitting next to Jane Goodall (UN Messenger of Peace) at lunch and experiencing her powerful aura of calm, confident strength. Following lunch, she was interviewed by Linda Ellerbee in a packed theater.

Linda, who believes, “Only dead fish swim with the stream all the time,” asked Jane, still going strong at age 78, “You travel hundreds of thousands of miles – more than 300 days – a year. What keeps you going?”

Jane told a wonderful story about how it’s the kids who keep her going – and who fuel her “Roots and Shoots” mission that grew from 16 teens asking her questions to more than 100 organizations around the world. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Goodall

Another memorable moment was Katie Couric’s honest keynote about what it’s like being a public person who is often the target of potshots.

Think about it. Katie has been a pioneer in many ways. First woman to become a solo female network nightly news anchor. First woman co-host of the opening ceremonies of the Olympic games. First person to have a colonoscopy filmed live on national TV.

Yet she has also been a target.

Unfortunately, as she points out in this September 9, 2012 cover article from Parade Magazine, “Our country has become vitriolic, where there is some kind of perverse pleasure in seeing people fail.”

http://www.parade.com/celebrity/celebrity-parade/2012/09/06-katie-couric-on-love-loss-new-talk-show.html

How does she keep going when it seems so many people enjoy tearing her down?

As Katie says, “Fame is not what drives me. What fuels me is feeling passion about something, then focusing on it and being good at it.”

What is something you feel passionate about? What keeps you focused on becoming and then staying good at it – when people are trying to tear you down?

Confidence is not being cocky. It is not believing you’re better than other people.

Neither is it belieiving other people are better than you. Neither is it giving other people the power to take away your power.

If you believe in what you’re doing – if you think your message, mission, passion and purpose matter – then it is your responsibility to STAY confident and not LET other people put you down and pull you off course.

It serves no one to let the nay-sayers keep you small.

As pointed out in my book “What’s Holding You Back? 30 Days to Having the Courage and Confidence To Do What You Want, Meet Whom You Want and Go Where You Want” … If you feel your life is like a see-saw; perhaps you’re depending on other people for your ups and downs.

http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Holding-You-Back-Confidence/dp/0312254407

Confidence is staying the course of your calling – even through, especially through – the ups and downs that come with finding and fulfilling your SerenDestiny.

If you’re going through a dark time, a time where your vision isn’t materializing and you’re wavering because you’re being put down by nay-sayers and not getting the results you want, need and deserve … DON’T QUIT; CONTINUE.

Say to yourself, “I have confidence this has value. I have confidence that, if I persevere, it will happen. I have confidence that what I’m doing will make a positive difference for others … and for me. I will not retreat; I will REBOOT.”

And, if you want an infusion of confidence; plan on attending this amazing California Womens Conference @CAWomensConf. Get tickets until Sep 15 for only $99 w/ my code: HORN http://t.co/qflV8Ret

You will benefit from hearing inspirational stories and insights of dozens of best-selling authors, international thought leaders, Fortune 100 executives and Inc. 500 entrepreneurs sharing their best practices on how to re-commit to your passion and purpose and scale your income and impact.

I will be speaking on THE EYEBROW TEST: How to Confidently and Compellingly Communicate Your Idea so Everyone Hearing it GETS it, WANTS it, and ACTS on it.

Hope to see you there. Consider it a day-long shot of confidence that will reboot your commitment to stay the course and turn your dreams into reality.

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SerenDestiny #46: Are You Living the Life You’re Born to Live? Take This Quiz to Find Out

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“If you are working on something exciting you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you.” – Steve Jobs One of the great joys of my life is interviewing SerenDestineers who are getting paid to … Continue reading

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SerenDestiny #45: How Does Giving AND Receiving Set Your SerenDestiny in Motion?

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“You can give without loving; but you cannot love without giving.” – Amy Carmichael You’ve heard it’s better to give than receive? I don’t think it’s an either/or – I think it’s both. I think it’s better to give AND … Continue reading

SerenDestiny #43: Hunches are Your Calling . . . Calling

“Trust your hunches. They’re usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.” – Dr. Joyce Brothers

Have you ever had an inkling to walk down this street, register for that event, reach out to this person; and it resulted in connecting you with someone or something that moved your life forward – for good?

Think about it. What are hunches? Where do they come from?

Some people call hunches “intuition.” Others call them a “gut instinct or gut feelings.” Creative people may call them their “muse.” Religious people sometimes call them divine intervention or “God Winks.” Some call them “premonition” or a “sixth sense.”

I’ve learned many things about hunches while interviewing people for my upcoming SerenDestiny book including:

a. Whatever you call hunches, they’re almost always right.
b. Hunches happen for a reason. A good reason.
c. Acting on hunches often results in a “stroke of luck,” good fortune, a blessing, a fortuitous twist of fate, what some people call “kismet.”

People from around the world have told me dramatic stories of how honoring a hunch set their SerenDestiny in motion.

The problem is, many of us don’t value hunches. We get an internal nudge to do this, go there, but we dismiss it with “I don’t feel like it. I don’t have time. That’s crazy. I’ll do it later.” And later is too late.

I remember a fascinating TV interview of Gavin de Becker, author of The Gift of Fear and a high-profile security consultant.

He said, “I ask people who have been assaulted if there were any warning signs beforehand. Many tell me they couldn’t put their finger on it, but they knew something was . . . wrong. The hairs on the backs of their arms stood up; their heart started pounding; something.

‘When I ask them, ‘Why didn’t you run or call for help?’ they often say they looked around and couldn’t see anything suspicious. Since they couldn’t see any evidence to justify their alarm, they dismissed it. They shrugged off their fears instead of realizing their body went on alert for a reason and they should take steps to protect themselves.”

What’s the point?

Our body gives us signs when it senses dissonance. Our instincts sense when something’s about to go wrong.

I’ve come to believe our body also give us signs when it senses resonance Our instincts sense when something’s about to go right.

I call those warning signs “hostile hunches.”

I call those resonant signs “harmonic hunches.”

Just as our instincts alert us to a coalescing of hostile circumstances, they also alert us to a coalescing of harmonic circumstances.

Survival hunches alerting us to dangerous circumstances prepare us for fight or flight.

Serendestiny hunches alerting us to desirable circumstances prepare us for a favorable future.

Acting on “hostile” hunches can keep us safe.

Acting on “harmonic” hunches can jump-start our fate.

One of the goals of this SerenDestiny blog and my upcoming book are to convince you of the miracles that await you if you honor your hostile and harmonic hunches.

Hostile hunches can alert you to toxic people and situations that will pull you off path.

Harmonic hunches alert you to compatible individuals and situations that can become stepping stones to a life where the light’s on in your eyes.

What’s non-negotiable is that you don’t dismiss hunches as “silly” or “trivial.”

I’ll say it again. Whatever hunches are; they’re rarely wrong.

If your gut is screaming at you to get away from a certain person or situation – even if there’s no “evidence” for your distrust or distaste – accept that it’s in your best interests to head the other direction. Toxic individuals and situations block your SerenDestiny because conflict consumes energy.

If a certain person or situation strikes a chord with you, if they’ve got a good “vibe,” seek them out. Even if you can’t put your finger on it, but an opportunity “feels right,” pursue that compatible connection in the moment.

One of the most important things I’ve learned in my years of researching SerenDestiny is the importance of capitalizing on a confluence of fortuitous factors. This “conFLOWence” is dynamic, it’s fleeting. For whatever reason, a providential combination of events has crystallized and come together NOW.

If you don’t capitalize on it immediately, that particular set of circumstances shifts and that window of opportunity . . . closes, perhaps forever.

Who knows if those agianst-all-odds fortuitous factors will re-align again?

I’m not trying to be melodramatic. It’s just that, as Graham Greene said, “There is a moment in every child’s life when the door opens and lets the future in.”

There are moments in everyone’s life when a door opens and lets their future in.

It’s up to us to be alert to those moments and take advantage of them. By definition, they only exist for a brief time.

From now on, understand that hunches are SerenDestiny Stepping Stones appearing before you are gifts from the universe. They are pointing out a harmonic path that will align you with like-minded individuals and opportunities. All you have to do is step forward in faith.

This isn’t woo-woo. Thousands of individuals have vouched for the “you wouldn’t believe it if it weren’t true” benefits they’ve reaped as a result of honoring their intuitive nudges.

Next time you get a hunch, even if you’re tired or busy; even if you don’t know where it’s going; follow its lead. Something or someone delightful awaits you.

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SerenDestiny® #40: How Glee Star Jane Lynch is Living Her SerenDestiny®

“I said yes to everything, even when I thought I should be over there or over here, and I ended up getting a better life than I ever imagined for myself.” – Jane Lynch Jane Lynch is on a roll. … Continue reading