SerenDestiny #59: 100 Days of Summer. Music. Movement. Musings. Murphy. Memorial Day.

Music: John Phillip Souza marches and Aaron Copland’s Fanfare for the Common Man (in honor of Memorial Day)

Movement: From Lake Audubon to Lake Thoreau. I didn’t walk … I marched:-)

Musings: It’s imposssible to be unhappy around a happy dog.

I’m cheating a bit.

This is a photo of Murph before we head over to Lake Thoreau.

That’s the Jim McDonnel Swim Race about to start in the background. It always heralds the beginning of summer. I welcome what it represents, 3 months of sunshine.

Now, back to Murph.

She’ll be with me on all these walks – except when I travel.

Anyone who has a dog – or has had a dog – has already waxed eloquent about all they bring to our lives.

She has been a constant in my life for the past 10 years, ever since we moved here from Maui.

Always upbeat, always ready to explore.

In fact, when I spend too many hours at my writing desk; (which happens way too often); she prances over, ears up, eyes bright, and makes motions to the front door as if to say, “Isn’t it about time to get outside? The graphics are great.”

Other people have articulated, far better than me, what it means to have a canine companion. Here are a few favorites.

“You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, ‘My GOSH, you’re RIGHT! I NEVER would’ve thought of that!” – Dave Barry

“Dogs are minor angels. They love unconditionally, forgive immediately, are the truest of friends, willing to do anything that makes us happy. If we attributed some of those qualities to a person we would say they are special. But because it’s “only” a dog, we dismiss them as sweet or funny but little more. However when you think about it, what are the things we most like in another human being? Many times those qualities are seen in our dogs every single day– we’re just so used to them that we pay no attention.” – Joanthan Carroll

“Dogs are our link to paradise. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring–it was peace.” – Milan Kundera

“The conclusion I have reached is that, above all, dogs are witnesses.” – Carolyn Parkhurst

So, how did you spend this Memorial Day? Did you get in some music, some movement, some musings?

SerenDestiny #58: A 100 Days of Summer: Music. Movement. Musings. Memories

Music: Smile Channel on Pandora

Movement: Walk around Lake Anne Farmers Market and lake circle walk

Musings: Notice the EAT SLEEP READ sign in one of my favorite places in the area – RUBS (Reston Used Book Shop on Lake Anne)

That sign brought back warm memories of growing up in a small town, New Cuyama, in Southern California.

We had more horses than people.

In fact, I rode my horse to the library to get books.

Really.

I’d ride bareback. Who needs a saddle when you’re 10 and have been riding since you were 5?

I’d tie my horse Joe outside, while I went into the cool, one-room library and tried to find something I hadn’t already read.

In those lazy days of summer, I might as well have had a sign in my bedroom that said, EAT. SLEEP. RIDE. READ.

A big part of who I am today is because I read non-stop growing up.

My folks always told me you’ll never be lonely as long as you have a good book. They were right.

I have the double the pleasure, double the fun these days. If I’m not reading a good book; I’m trying to write one.

Reading is one of life’s great joys. Here are a few favorite quotes about what a blessing it is to be swept up into new worlds – anytime we want.

“Books are a uniquely portable magic.” – Stephen King

“Books are the plane, the train, the road. They are the destination and the journey. They are home.” – Anna Quindlen

“Reading is the sole means by which we slip, involuntarily, often helplessly, into another’s skin, another’s voice, another’s soul.” – Joyce Carol Oates

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.” – George R. R. Martin

“What a miracle it is that out of these small, flat, rigid squares of paper unfolds world after world after world, worlds that sing to you, comfort, quiet or excite you. Books help us understand who we are and how we are to behave. They show us how to live.” – Anne Lamott

“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.” – Joseph Addison

“Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevators.” – Stephen Fry

So, where did you move today? What music did you play? What were your musings? Your memories?

SerenDestiny #57: A Hundred Days of Summer: Music. Movement. Musings.

“Is not life a hundred times too short for us to become bored?” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Why is it some of us take life for granted when we’re fortunate to be blessed with health, freedom and love?

I think it has a lot to do with routines.

We get up at the same time. Have a quick breakfast or cup of coffee. Go to work. Come home. Have dinner with family, friends or ourselves. Take care of chores, bills, email and social media. Maybe watch some TV. Go to bed.

The downside of routines is it’s easy for life to become … routine.

And life is much too precious to become routine.

So, I’m doing something about it …and inviting you along.

Did you know we have exactly 100 days between now and Labor Day?

Let’s make those 100 days special. Let’s make this a summer to remember … a summer we’ll always remember.

Join me for a HUNDRED DAYS OF SUMMER: MUSIC. MOVEMENT. MUSINGS.

We have our health, freedom, friends and family. We have the big outdoors waiting for us to take advantage of it.

Let’s make the most of them.

Let’s create something special so we look back on Labor Day and smile at the exhilarating abundance we’ve experienced and enjoyed.

I vow (and hope you’ll vow with me) to:

MOVE: Every day I will get out for a fast walk somewhere NEW with my smart-phone, notepad and loyal canine companion, Murphy.

NEW movement is the key. No routine walks around the neighborhood, no working out on the treadmill in our basement or the Stairmaster at the gym.

Let’s move outside in nature and immerse ourselves in these summer days. I live in an incredible lakeside community with forested walking trails and stream parks. I’m going to explore them all.

MUSIC: Every day I will put in a new track on Pandora – which is free and an absolute joy – and sample fresh music.

MUSINGS: Every day I will take a photo of something I notice along the way. When observations turn into Aha’s, revelations or epiphanies about the essential nature of something; I will pause to write it down.

I will report out every day – share an insight and image of my musical and musings and movement – and hope you will too.

I promise to keep these to UNDER 500 words – and ask that you too.

With that said, I’ve got 58 words left so I better get cracking.

MUSIC: Hallelujah Radio on Pandora

MOVEMENT: Around Lake Audubon in Reston, VA

MUSINGS: Image of “Gratitude Bench” – where I go to send up thanks for all that’s right with my world.

Love that there was a life-jacket hanging on the bench. You know what I think?

Gratitude is a spiritual life-jacket that keeps us afloat in emotional storms.

Your turn.

SerenDestiny #56: College Grads: Is Your Calling … Calling?

After interviewing thousands of SerenDestineers around the world; I’ve come to understand many of us have a misunderstanding of what a “calling” is.

We think it is some Holy Grail moment where our “purpose” shows up in a blaze of glory.

Kind of like the Academy Awards of Purpose.

The heavens part, the trumpets play and the angels deliver a gold-embossed envelope.

We open it – and there in glowing letters – is what we’re supposed to do with our life.

It doesn’t really happen that way.

Clarity about who we are and why we’re here reveals itself over time.

It’s a thousand inklings … a thousand intuitive nudges … of what sounds interesting and what doesn’t; of what we like and don’t like; of what calls to us, what doesn’t.

We navigate our way through these mini-decisions of what feels good, right and resonant – and what feels bad, wrong and dissonant … every day, every week, every month.

The decisions we make at those Crucial Crossroads accumulate into a life that either is a reflection of our quintessence, a life that feels like us – or a life that feels wrong, that feels like someone else’s.

Therefore, our SerenDestiny® – a life where the light is on in our eyes – is a coalescing and accumulation of congruent actions taken at Crucial Crossroads.

Those Crucial Crossroads don’t just happen at momentous occasions – graduation, marriage proposals and job offerings.

They happen every day when we make decisions like:

* Should I have lunch with my supervisor even though I don’t like him – but he’s in a position to give me a raise?

* Should I sign up for that 10k and train for it – even though I’m busy?

* Should I major in accounting because that’s what my dad is and that’s where the jobs are – even though I hate accounting and the thought of becoming a CPA makes me depressed?

* Should I follow this hunch and go to this free seminar on how to start your own business – even though everyone is telling me it’s a real risk to open a business in this tough economy?

* Should I get up early tomorrow and have some private time so I’m not rushing through the day feeling like I never get time for myself?

Those “little” decisions made at your Crucial Crossroads have a huge impact on whether you like yourself and your life.

And, in the final analysis, that’s what SerenDestiny® is.

It’s not having the perfect job. It’s not being in a relationship with the perfect person. It’s not being perfectly healthy and having the financial freedom to do what you want.

Those are all nice – but they don’t guarantee you’ll have the light on in your eyes.

What puts the light on in your eyes is obeying your gut instincts that say DO THIS – DON’T DO THIS.

Those hunches are your 6th sense SerenDestiny® detectors.

They are signposts pointing the way to a congruent life that feels … right.

My friend Mary Loverde, pictured above, is a Life-Balance expert and author of the inspiring book The Invitation.

You can read more about this eye-opening book here – http://www.amazon.com/The-Invitation-When-Youre-Ready/dp/098350038X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1337609715&sr=8-1

Mary just gave a commencement speech at her alma mater.

In her speech, Mary joked that many grads feel that, in self defense, they ought to wear a t-shirt to the ceremony that says, “I DON’T KNOW.”

They know they’re going to be asked the “Now that you’ve got your degree, what are you going to do with your life?” question dozens of times by well-meaning friends and family.

For many of them, they have NO IDEA how to answer that question.

50% (50%!) of all graduating seniors do not have a job lined up.

The months ahead are going to be filled with frustration as they apply for jobs and don’t even get an interview.

So, what shall they do?

They should stop relying on the traditional business world to give them a paying job, to define their purpose in life for them.

What will really move them forward is to fill each day with activities that feel right to them.

That could be volunteering for a non-profit that gives them opportunities to give back so they feel useful.

That could be identifying someone who is doing work they admire – and volunteering to intern for them for the next three months – pro bono.

That way, they could be waking up every morning and have somewhere to go, something to do, something that gives their days meaning and momentum.

They could be apprenticing for someone they respect, producing work that goes into their portfolio.

That way, they will have something to show for the next three months. They will have learned valuable on-the-job skills instead of sitting in their parents’ basement and waiting for the phone to ring.

How about you? What is one thing you’re going to do today that feels right?

There are aspects of our life out of our control. We may feel locked into circumstances not of our own choosing. We may feel we don’t have the option to do what we want, to make whole scale changes.

We don’t have to.

As Mary Loverde says, “Every day is an invitation to honor our instincts that have our best interests at heart.”

In other words, we don’t find our purpose – we give ourselves a sense of purpose by doing “little” things every day that are in alignment with our integrity, intuition and interests.

And in doing so, we become the kind of person who calls to us.

We put the light on in our eyes (and the eyes of others) and create a quality of life that feels right… or at least, feels better.

SerenDestiny® #55: How Do You Really Feel About Happiness?

I’ve heard some people are afraid of success; but it was a new concept to me that some people might also be afraid of happiness.

Really?

That was the startling premise of Dr. Brene’ Brown’s fascinating presentation at a recent Leadership Colloquium at NASA Goddard.

Brene’s TED talk on “The Power of Vulnerability” is one of the top ten most-downloaded TED videos.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

After the first 10 minutes of her NASA presentation, it’s easy to understand why.

She’s disarmingly honest about her journey from being a left-brained researcher who only valued bottom-line facts to discovering the transcendent, whole-hearted, free-flowing love that comes from having children.

What she didn’t anticipate is the fear that comes from being a mom.

She describes how she used to stand in her kids’ rooms at night and watch them sleep … and weep.

Why?

She cherished them so much, she was afraid something would happen to them.

She knew this was illogical. They were perfectly healthy, perfectly fine. Yet there she was … miserable.

She started researching why the emotion of happiness seems to be irrevocably tied with fear.

Brene’ told a story that opened our eyes to how common this phenomenon is.

A family is driving to their grandparents’s house for Christmas. The parents are uptight because they’re running late.

The kids, sitting in the back seat, start singing Jingle Bells .

The parents realize how ridiculous they’re being and start singing Jingle Bells along with them.

At this point, Brene’ asked the audience, “And then what happened?”

Guess what the majority said??

“They get in a car accident.”

Is that what you thought?

Do you know what that means?

It means, deep down, you believe happiness is fleeting.

You think happiness is … too good to be true.

If things are going well, it’s only a matter of time before the other shoe drops and something goes wrong.

Arrgghh.

Say it ain’t so.

It gets worse.

In an effort to protect ourselves against the pain we feel when something goes wrong … we prepare ourselves for the heartbreak. We start imagining it so we won’t be blindsided when it happens.

That “failure forecasting” of course sets up a self-fulfilling prophecy which increases the likelihood of something going wrong because that’s what we’re focused on.

When something does go wrong, it proves us “right.” Our worst fears are realized and reinforced. We have even more reasons to worry which sets up an emotionally unhealthy spiral.

We don’t want to be caught off guard by grief so we don’t allow ourselves to enjoy joy. And our envisioning all the things that could go wrong ensure that more things do.

The good news is, we can change this default belief if we choose.

And we need to change this default belief if we want to find and fulfill our SerenDestiny®.

Because SerenDestiny® is leading a life where the light is on in our eyes because we’re doing what we love most and do best.

If, deep down, we’re afraid of loving life because we don’t want to achieve it only to lose it … we avoid it.

So, how do we change these destructive default beliefs?

Instead of steeling ourselves against what could go wrong … we steep ourselves in what’s going right.

We adopt a mantra of “Receive, receive, receive. Revel, revel, revel.”

We choose to appreciate and enjoy good times instead of anticipating they’ll quickly be followed by bad times.

We stop trying to predict or protect ourselves from a potentially hurtful future.

Next time the light is on in your eyes … instead of thinking, “This can’t last,” look around and tell yourself, “Imprint, imprint, imprint.”

Tell yourself, “I welcome this blessing. I savor it. I immerse myself in it.”

As H. L. Mencken said, “We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.”

How about you? Somewhere along the line, did you learn to be suspicious of happiness lest it be taken away from you? If so, what consequences has that had on your ability to create a life you love?

What are you going to do to change that “too good to be true – waiting for the other shoe to drop mentality?”

What mantra are you going to adopt to welcome loving your life – instead of worrying it won’t last?

Many SerenDestineers have told me they agree with Meister Ekhart’s insight, “If the only prayer we ever said was, ‘Thank you,’ that would be enough.”

From now on, when you’re experiencing good fortune, don’t look a gift source in the mouth.

Simply look around, receive, revel and just say Thank you … and mean it.

Your thoughts, experiences and insights? Please share.

And be sure to check out Dr. Brene Brown’s website and blog. Her insights on how we can be whole-hearted (rather than going through life half-hearted so we don’t get hurt) are brilliant.

http://www.brenebrown.com/