Tag Archives: SerenDestiny

SerenDestiny #65: What You Do When You Procrastinate COULD be the Seed of Your SerenDestiny

“My parents always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything because I procrastinated so much. I told ’em, ‘Just you wait.” – comedian Judy Tenuta

Are you waiting for your destiny to show up?

Are you the kid who was always crystal clear about what you wanted to be when you grew up … or are you still searching for your ideal job – your life-work?

For most of us, clarity about our purpose doesn’t show up all at once. It crystallizes, over time, from a series of experiences that resonate, that feel right.

We notice that when we do this type of work or collaborate with these type of individuals, we feel meaningfully productive. It just fits. It’s a match for who we are and what matters most.

We can sometimes discover our life-work by taking a second look at what we do, naturally, in our free time … when we’re not working.

That is certainly the case with one of my colleagues.

Dana always used to “noodle and doodle.”

In class, instead of listening to her teacher, she would let her imagination run free. Instead of doing her assignments, she’d be filling the margins with what she was seeing in her mind’s eye.

Guess how Dana earns her living – a good living – in every sense of the word?

She’s a graphic facilitator. She is the person you see at conferences and strategic retreats, facilitating the discussion while simultaneously drawing a colorful mural that maps what’s happening in the room with images and highlighted words. http://take-action.com/

Dana loves her work – and it loves her. She has turned her joy into her job.

By the way, that is one of the definitions of SerenDestiny.

Make your joy your job.

So, what do you do when you’re supposed to be doing something else?

What are you drawn to do when you’re supposed to be doing your “real” job?

What do you do in your free time that resonates, feels right, fills you with joy?

Get creative about how you could get paid to teach that or do that for others.

If you do, you’ll never have to “work” another day in your life … because you’ll be in that sublime state of SerenDestiny where you’re earning a good living doing what you love most and do best.

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SerenDestiny #63: Got Confidence? How to Get It, Keep It, Give It

“Life is a series of reboots.” – Katie Couric

I’m looking forward to speaking at the California Womens Conference next week.

This event, held at the Long Beach Convention Center, has a 20 year track record of attracting up to 15,000 women in one day.

Two of my favorite moments include sitting next to Jane Goodall (UN Messenger of Peace) at lunch and experiencing her powerful aura of calm, confident strength. Following lunch, she was interviewed by Linda Ellerbee in a packed theater.

Linda, who believes, “Only dead fish swim with the stream all the time,” asked Jane, still going strong at age 78, “You travel hundreds of thousands of miles – more than 300 days – a year. What keeps you going?”

Jane told a wonderful story about how it’s the kids who keep her going – and who fuel her “Roots and Shoots” mission that grew from 16 teens asking her questions to more than 100 organizations around the world. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Goodall

Another memorable moment was Katie Couric’s honest keynote about what it’s like being a public person who is often the target of potshots.

Think about it. Katie has been a pioneer in many ways. First woman to become a solo female network nightly news anchor. First woman co-host of the opening ceremonies of the Olympic games. First person to have a colonoscopy filmed live on national TV.

Yet she has also been a target.

Unfortunately, as she points out in this September 9, 2012 cover article from Parade Magazine, “Our country has become vitriolic, where there is some kind of perverse pleasure in seeing people fail.”

http://www.parade.com/celebrity/celebrity-parade/2012/09/06-katie-couric-on-love-loss-new-talk-show.html

How does she keep going when it seems so many people enjoy tearing her down?

As Katie says, “Fame is not what drives me. What fuels me is feeling passion about something, then focusing on it and being good at it.”

What is something you feel passionate about? What keeps you focused on becoming and then staying good at it – when people are trying to tear you down?

Confidence is not being cocky. It is not believing you’re better than other people.

Neither is it belieiving other people are better than you. Neither is it giving other people the power to take away your power.

If you believe in what you’re doing – if you think your message, mission, passion and purpose matter – then it is your responsibility to STAY confident and not LET other people put you down and pull you off course.

It serves no one to let the nay-sayers keep you small.

As pointed out in my book “What’s Holding You Back? 30 Days to Having the Courage and Confidence To Do What You Want, Meet Whom You Want and Go Where You Want” … If you feel your life is like a see-saw; perhaps you’re depending on other people for your ups and downs.

http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Holding-You-Back-Confidence/dp/0312254407

Confidence is staying the course of your calling – even through, especially through – the ups and downs that come with finding and fulfilling your SerenDestiny.

If you’re going through a dark time, a time where your vision isn’t materializing and you’re wavering because you’re being put down by nay-sayers and not getting the results you want, need and deserve … DON’T QUIT; CONTINUE.

Say to yourself, “I have confidence this has value. I have confidence that, if I persevere, it will happen. I have confidence that what I’m doing will make a positive difference for others … and for me. I will not retreat; I will REBOOT.”

And, if you want an infusion of confidence; plan on attending this amazing California Womens Conference @CAWomensConf. Get tickets until Sep 15 for only $99 w/ my code: HORN http://t.co/qflV8Ret

You will benefit from hearing inspirational stories and insights of dozens of best-selling authors, international thought leaders, Fortune 100 executives and Inc. 500 entrepreneurs sharing their best practices on how to re-commit to your passion and purpose and scale your income and impact.

I will be speaking on THE EYEBROW TEST: How to Confidently and Compellingly Communicate Your Idea so Everyone Hearing it GETS it, WANTS it, and ACTS on it.

Hope to see you there. Consider it a day-long shot of confidence that will reboot your commitment to stay the course and turn your dreams into reality.

SerenDestiny® #62: How Do You Get Through the Desert of Your Dream?

“I didn’t think I would play tennis again at one point. I just wanted to make it out of the hospital.” – Wimbledon Champ Serena Williams

From Liz Clarke’s July 8th Washington Post article, “After winning her fifth Wimbledon championship to snap a two-year drought of major titles, Williams clambered up the Centre Court stands to her guest box to share the triumph with the loved ones she said made it possible.

Having missed nearly a year of competition after a series of setbacks that included two foot surgeries and a pulmonary embolism, Williams proved that she is still the most formidable player in women’s tennis.

What’s different is Williams’ appreciation that she could not have done it alone. “Those people in that box were all with me when I went through everything I went through. I just felt I don’t say ‘thank you’ enough.'”

It has been inspiring watching Serena come back from what she thought were career-ending injuries.

The path to our SerenDestiny® is rarely straight.

It’s more of a roller-coaster ride. Ups and downs. Highs and lows.

What keeps us going in those lows?

A team who has our back and front, certainly.

Another necessary ingredient is our ability to continue to SEE ourselves successfully achieving our dream … even when it is not apparent to others.

It is crucial to maintain clarity and conviction that what we’re pursuing is worthwhile … even when we’re stalled and it looks like it may never happen.

It is persevering when we’re in the desert of our dream that provides the impetus to keep moving toward it.

Because forward motion is a non-negotiable.

If you stop. if you give up and abandon your vision … it will not happen.

So, it is up to you to hang on to your belief that what you’re trying to create and accomplish is possible and worthwhile.

If you do, you give it a chance. You are doing your half.

And when you do your half, the universe steps up and does its half.

Soren Kierkegaard said, “Life can only be understood backwards; but must be lived forwards.”

There will always be setbacks along the way to our SerenDestiny. It is the nature of life. And, at the time, those obstacles may seem insurmountable. They may drain our will and cause us to doubt.

It is at that point, that we must transcend our doubts and summon our will to proceed. If we choose to carry on through our doubts and down times, we can re-establish momentum and move closer to realizing our dream.

I can only imagine that Serena was tempted to give up when she was in pain, when she had to go back for surgery, when she lost her mobility.

But Serena wasn’t finished.

She believed she still had greatness in her, she still had championships to win.

So, she re-dedicated herself. She worked hard and re-committed to being and doing her best.

And, as a result of persevering through the desert of her dream, she has reached a blessed, rewarding oasis.

And the beauty of this is; it is not a mirage; it’s a well-earned reality.

How about you?

Are you in the desert of your SerenDestiny® dream?

Could you choose to “pull a Serena?”

Could you re-dedicate yourself?

Your dream is still a possibility … if you choose to keep it a possibility.

SerenDestiny #61: What is the “SerenDestiny Story?”

Image

In the movie The Graduate, Dustin Hoffman’s character has just graduated from college.

His parents throw him a welcome-home party to celebrate.

One of his dad’s friends throws his arm around Dustin’s shoulders and asks, “So, what are you going to do now?”

Dustin tells him, “I was going to go upstairs.”

The man looks at him askance and says, “No, I mean … with your life.”

What are you doing with your life?

Do you have a meaningful purpose that gives you a reason to wake up every morning?

If so; you’re living in the sublime, deeply satisfying state of SerenDestiny®.

If not; please know that NOT knowing what you want to do with your life is … natural.

Sure, some lucky people, (like my son Tom who knew at age 8 he wanted to do something “up there” and now works with the International Space Station), have clarity about their purpose from an early age.

For most of us though, we figure it out along the way.

We figure it out by experimenting and learning what resonates and what doesn’t. Our life-work emerges from the process – it doesn’t precede the process.

The good news is, you can facilitate finding your life-work by studying the case studies of SerenDestineers who share their epiphanies of how and why they’ve come to love their life.  

I’ve been sharing their insights in this blog for the past year, and will be distilling their lessons-learned (and my own) in my upcoming book SerenDestiny: Is the Light On In Your Eyes?

I’d love to include your story of how you’ve created a life you love. How would you answer the following questions?

1. How did you discover your life’s purpose?

2. What obstacles did you encounter? How did you overcome them?

3. What advice do you have for how people can lead a life where the light’s on in their eyes?

Still searching for your SerenDestiny®? What questions and challenges would you like addressed in the book?

I really believe in “crowd-sourcing.”  This will be a better book if it features a variety of real-life examples from people around the world so everyone can relate to it.  

I know you’re busy … so thank you in advance for taking the time to submit your questions and suggestions to Sam@IntrigueAgency.com.  I look forward to hearing from you.

And in case you’re curious about how SerenDestiny® got started…. here’s the back-story.

What’s the SerenDestiny Story?

My sons Tom and Andrew were home for the holidays from Virginia Tech.

We were getting caught up over dinner and Andrew said, “Hey, Mom, I ran into Ryan last night. It was really interesting. I hadn’t seen him since high school and I’d been wondering what he was up to. Then, there he was … out of the blue.”

I laughed and said, “Oh Andrew. That wasn’t out of the blue. That’s called Serendipity. Some people call those happy accidents … but I don’t think they’re accidents.”

“What you do you mean?”

“Think about it. What are the odds of that happening?

You’re thinking about Ryan and all of a sudden he shows up?? Really?!

That’s not a coincidence, that’s a gift.

Your paths crossed for a reason. You’re supposed to figure out why and act on it. Maybe you’re meant to collaborate with Ryan on something.”

Andrew was intrigued. Later that night, he came up to me with a thoughtful expression on his face and said, “Mom, I really like that concept of . . . SerenDestiny®.”

Aahhh.  Out of the mouths of 20-somethings.  Little did I know that casual conversation would launch an incredibly rewarding, new direction in my career and business.

The idea of SerenDestiny® intrigued me too.

I realized, looking back, my whole life has been a series of SerenDestiny® Stepping Stones.

From an early age, something “out of the blue” would happen and I would somehow, instinctively, understand it was my job to capitalize on it.

That would lead to something wonderful which would in turn lead to something even more wonderful. People often tell me how lucky I am to do the work I was born to do and I agree.

But I think it’s more than luck.

In retrospect, I now see there were a variety of contributing factors that played a role in me leading a life I love.

Whenever it was time to make a pivotal life decision – what I now call Crucial Crossroads – I honored my Three I’s – Instincts, Integrity and Interests.

Every time I did, it paid off. Every time I didn’t, I paid the price.

The more I explored this concept, the more I started defining SerenDestiny® as “leading a life where the light’s on in our eyes.”

I started asking everyone I met, “How would you define SerenDestiny®?  Are you leading the life you’re meant to live?  If so, why?  If not, why not?”

I’ve learned a lot, including:

1. We move closer to the sublime state of SerenDestiny® every time we act in alignment with our Thre I’s – our Interests, Instincts and Integrity – and our Three V’s – Values, Voice and Vision at Crucial Crossroads.

2. SerenDestiny® doesn’t just happen. We don’t FIND our calling – we CREATE it. It is a byproduct of “doing our half,” honoring our hunches, proving our passion and connecting with kindred souls who facilitate and fast-forward our best future. When we do our half – the universe steps up and say, “all right-then,” and does its half.

3. It is never too late or too early to set our SerenDestiny® in motion. And we don’t need to win the lottery, fly to Bali or quit our job to lead a life where the light’s on in our eyes.

4. It is not selfish to seek our SerenDestiny®. Just the opposite. Identifying our gifts and giving them back to the world results in a “rising tide raising all boats” life that benefits all involved.

SerenDestiny #60: Are You Going It Alone? Align with Peers Who Have Your Back and Your Front

“Individuality is fine. As long as we do it together.” – Frank Burns, M*A*S*H

A recurring theme of our recent strategic retreats was that many of us entrepreneurs work in isolation.

We all love being our own boss; it’s a pleasure and a privilege; and it can also be daunting when we’re the one supplying all the energy, focus and drive.

I discovered (the hard way) that one of the few downsides of running your own business is going it alone.

Many of you know I in Hawaii for 17 years. I loved living in Paradise, and didn’t really realize how professionally isolating it was until I moved to the Mainland – the Wash DC area.

A colleague Rebecca Morgan, (co-founder of SpeakerNetNews.com) and I roomed together at a convention that year. We stayed up late every night debriefing what we’d learned and swapping best-practice tips.

We decided to continue this rewarding collaboration by creating a master-mind group and inviting 5 carefully selected peers to join us in monthly phone calls and twice-a-year in-person meetings.

At our first meeting, we were “going around the table” updating each other on our priority projects and pinpointing where and how we could use help.

When it was my turn, I said, “I’m thoroughly enjoying this and I’m glad to be part of it. I just can’t think of anything I need help with, so I’ll donate my time back to the group.”

It was quiet for a moment. Then Rebecca (bless her heart) said, “Well, what are you working on right now?”

“I’m re-doing my website.”

“We can help you with that, “Rebecca said confidently.

And she was right. A half hour later, my website was infinitely better because of the group’s suggestions.

My subsequent epiphany was, “It had been so long since I had asked for help, I had forgotten how.”

Since there hadn’t been any other professional speakers on Maui at that time, I didn’t have anyone to “talk shop” with.

The few times I did share my business activities with acquaintances, they simply didn’t have the industry knowledge to be able to give informed advice.

So, I stopped asking. I ended up doing everything myself. And that worked pretty well. As the saying goes, it was what it was.

But I had an epiphany while discussing an online info-product I was developing with my master-mind group.

Val asked, “Why are you only offering one pricing option? Why not bundle your CD’s together and offer three different packages so people can buy at their own comfort level?”

Uh, duh. Why wasn’t I doing that? Because it had never occurred to me.

That’s just one of the many advantages gained from having a variety of people bring their combined expertise to the table (so to speak) – people who have your back … and your front.

As entrepreneurs, we often get so close to our work; we can’t see it clearly anymore.

That’s one of the many advantages of being part of a strategic master-mind.

Peers can often pinpoint our blind-spots and tell exactly what we need to do differently to break through an impasse.

Group brainstorming not only saves us a lot of trial-and-terror learning; it’s the quickest way to dramatically improve and expedite results.

Lily Tomlin said, “Remember, we’re all in this … alone.”

Are you trying to get your bandwagon out of your garage … all on your own?

Maybe you don’t know anyone who has experience with what you’re pursuing.

Or, you live in an isolated area and you’re working solo because there doesn’t seem to be any alternative.

Or, somewhere along the way you were taught not to “bother” people by asking for their help, so your default is to be self-sufficient rather than seeking support?

If there’s anything I’ve learned after interviewing thousands of SerenDestineers; it’s that strategically aligning with compatible colleagues who have our best interests at heart is a non-negotiable for creating a propserous business and a rewarding life where the light’s on in our eyes.

The good news is, we don’t have struggle to figure everything out on our own. We can go it alone … together.

A wonderful example of a group that does an excellent job of providing highly interactive mastermind groups for its membera is EO – Entrepreneurs Organization. http://www.eonetwork.org/Pages/welcome.aspx

EO members love having access to best practices and best practicers at their chapter meetings, national conferences and global events – but they all agree that participating in their EO mastermindmind groups (FORUMS) is a life-changing, business-enhancing, rising-tide-raising-all-boats experience.

Are you tired of going it alone?

If so, check out EO and explore how you can reach out and align with professional peers who have your back and front.